


The one I hated the most

by hyuwunsuk



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Lovers, Feelings Realization, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, M/M, Marriage, They are just dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuwunsuk/pseuds/hyuwunsuk
Summary: Jisung hated Minho. Minho hated Jisung. It was the way things had always been, but they were okay with it. Or at least they were, until Hyunjin announced that he was marrying Seungmin.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74
Collections: STAY CAROLS 2020





	The one I hated the most

_15th of November_

“Will you be my best man?” Hyunjin’s voice came out weakly while he observed the glasses of beer on the table. He looked white as paper after saying those words, as if he were confessing some sort of crime. “I know it is precipitated but when I asked Seungmin to marry me, I hoped that maybe you would like to be the one there for me.”

On the other side of the table, Han Jisung, with his french fries halfway to his mouth, was completely frozen. Of course it didn’t come as a surprise when Hyunjin told him that he got down on one knee - Jisung even laughed at how nervous the taller boy looked while telling him the whole story - but then he blurted those last words, and Jisung couldn’t help but stop everything he was doing. 

He didn’t even know why he was so surprised: they had been friends for their whole lives and would never go without the other anywhere, but the younger thought that the fact of being one of the most chaotic persons Hyunjin knew, invalidated him for the title of best man. But in Hyunjin's mind, as soon as Seungmin asked him who he wanted for the task, the only answer that would come up to his mind was Han Jisung.

Since they were toddlers, they had spent all their time with the other whether it was because they wanted or because their mothers, being the best friends they were, forced them to. This led them to build a strong friendship throughout the years that even if someone tried, they could not break. Where Hwang Hyunjin was, Han Jisung was and that would never change. At first, when their mothers introduced them, they would not tolerate each other (Hyunjin had the habit of forcing Jisung into calling him hyung although they were the same age, and Jisung surely did not like to be told what to do) but as years passed by, they knew that what they had would chase them for life. 

Jisung sometimes wondered how their friendship lasted that long being the opposite poles they were. Maybe it was in the small details like Hyunjin buying Jisung’s favourite drink whenever he came over or Jisung asking things about the menu to the people in the counter whenever they ate outside because Hyunjin got nervous. Or maybe, it was every single moment they spent together: Those moments in which Jisung forgets about the harsh reality outside of their bubble and Hyunjin feels at peace although there’s a whole messy and disrupted world out there.

“Okay, can you answer?” Hyunjin, with much more color on his face, said before raising his gaze to look at his friend. “I swear I’m going to kill your dramatic ass, Han Jisung.”

“Okay, I am sorry, it’s just that I didn’t think that Seungmin would say yes to your lame proposal.” He quickly picked up the pace of the world and started eating his fries again, earning a stop-being-stupid look from Hyunjin. “But, since you asked me all nervous and stuff, yes, I will be your best man.”

“Oh, so you are really going to act like you’re not about to cry?” Hyunjin laughed watching how Jisung’s eyes started to shine while he tried to not look directly at him, knowing that if he did he would burst into tears . Jisung could put up the act of a jokester who didn’t take anything seriously but, at the end, Hyunjin knew him better than he knew himself.

“Oh, shut up,” Jisung said before wiping out the tears on his eyes, not being able to keep up with his facade. “I am just so happy that you’re getting married. I never thought you would be able to ask him.”

“Well, I am surely not letting him go,” Hyunjin said, the biggest smile on his face while he thought of Seungmin, while he thought of all the moments they’ve lived and all the moments they would spend together from now on. “I love him, Sung”

And Jisung knew it.

From the very first moment Jisung saw Seungmin, he knew that Hyunjin and him would end up together. It was not something that could be put in words, it just felt like they were perfect for each other, as if the universe never made such a flawless match before. Where Hyunjin wavered, Seungmin had strength to keep him going and where Seungmin lost his patience, Hyunjin would keep him calm.

“Well, tell me more about it. How did he react when you asked him? When is the wedding going to be? And, who is Seungmin’s best man?” Jisung took his jar and gulped down some of the beer on it.

Jisung was so concentrated on his large amount of fries that he did not notice the change in Hyunjin's expression as well as how much he tensed when he heard the last question he made, but when he received no answer, Jisung looked at the boy again. His face was pale once more and then Jisung realized he should have never asked, because it was obvious that he wouldn’t like the answer.

Kim Seungmin was a simple yet very picky person. He would only let you in if he wanted, and if he didn’t, it wouldn’t matter how much you begged, he would push you out. This led him to be a person with very few friends. First, you would find Lee Felix, who Jisung found very interesting on their first meeting after he told how he was raised in Australia. There was also Yang Jeongin, really nice once he accepted you as a friend too and someone who no one would like as an enemy. And finally, _him_.

“Tell me that it is a joke,” Jisung said. All the happiness his face reflected just a few moments ago disappeared leaving place to a much bitter expression. ”Tell me that you didn’t agree to Minho being Seungmin’s best man.”

Lee Minho was probably Seungmin’s closest friend and Jisung’s worst enemy. 

It all started back in high school. Jisung and Hyunjin were the new kids there but Hyunjin, being the handsome and tall boy he was, had it easier. He was quickly admitted into the popular’s club and soon enough everyone knew who he was, what his coffee order was and what extracurricular activities he attended. But no one knew Jisung, and he was more than okay with it. Although everything he seemed to be, Jisung did not like having everyone’s attention on him, it made him feel anxious and that would probably end up with him stuttering or regretting life choices. However, it was inevitable for the younger boy to miss his best friend, and Hyunjin made clear that he felt the same way when a week after he asked Jisung to have lunch with his new friends. That was the day he met Minho.

When Jisung arrived with Hyunjin at the table on the third floor of the building, he was mesmerized. It was impossible for a human to look that good, so the boy in front of him had to be an angel or some sort of magical creature because Jisung refused to believe that humans were allowed to be so breath-taking. His hair looked like melted chocolate and as soft as velvet. His skin looked smooth too, and Jisung died to know if it was really as silky as it seemed to be or if it was only the power of makeup — although he was sure that it wasn’t makeup. Specially, Jisung wanted to touch the little mole on his cute nose, bop it until the other was laughing and Jisung could cover his whole face with small kisses. The boy was very well proportioned: His body was slim but his thighs looked toned as well as his arms so the uniform shirt adhered to his skin in all the right spots, he was not the tallest person ever but he wasn’t short either. Basically, he had the figure of a prince and Jisung found himself wondering if he would practice some sort of special exercise. 

In his mind, Jisung was already planning the wedding because it was impossible that someone that looked so good was a bad person. But the problem about living with some sort of expectations is that once the reality hits, everything crumbles. So when Minho opened his mouth and said that someone like Jisung couldn’t sit with them so he had to go, everyone on the table heard the heart of the younger break in a thousand pieces. That was the first time Jisung had his heart broken, but being the proud boy he was he would not stay silent. Maybe if Jisung hadn’t commented about how not everyone could appreciate beauty or else Minho wouldn’t be where is, everything would have stayed calm but again, Jisung didn’t like to be told what to do.

That day many insults and screams were exchanged between the two boys while both parties tried to separate them before they could get physical or before any teacher could see, but by the end of the day the word had spread around. Everyone knew by 5pm that Lee Minho and Han Jisung were enemies and that anyone that tried to get in the middle of them, would be crushed.

The very first days after the epic fight would remain in the minds of everyone that attended Blueprint High School. It was fun watching Jisung going around with his hair painted green or Minho running after the now green haired boy completely naked. Thankfully, the intensity of their jokes decreased with the years and, by the time they last saw each other, Minho finishing college and Jisung in his second year of musical interpretation, they somehow managed to stay in the same room and not go for each other’s throats but surely that did not mean that they were friends. That was three years from that moment.

“He is Seungmin’s best friend, Jisung,” Hyunjin said. He knew that his friend would not like the idea of sharing the special day with Minho, but it couldn’t be helped, not when Seungmin explicitly said that his best man had to be Minho. “Plus, it isn’t like you will have to share hours with him outside the reunions.”

“He made my life impossible during high school, Hyunjin, you know it. I still have nightmares about green sticky liquid.” Jisung added while faking some shivering, placing his hands on his arms. “I don’t even know where he got that thing.”

“To be honest, you didn’t go easy on him either. I mean, you literally burned down his notes days before the final exams, that’s pretty fucked up.” Hyunjin seemed much more relaxed, leaning his back on the chair and grabbing his jar of beer. “And that’s not even the worst thing you ever did to him.”

“Well, he brought that upon himself. If he had been nicer when we met…” Jisung hated to think about that day, about how such a pretty face was so full of meanness.

“I am still sure that he didn’t mean those words,” Hyunjin answered. “He is a really nice guy, really. He has helped Seungmin on many occasions, even when we fought.”

Jisung remembers. Of course he does. It was a November day, just like the one they were in, when Hyunjin appeared at Jisung’s apartment with his face full of tears and eyes completely swollen. Jisung felt the cold air hit his skin when he opened the door and by the time Hyunjin told him how he and Seungmin fought - an stupid argument that started with where they were ordering that night’s dinner, and that ended with both men reproaching how the other was unable to put on his shoes -, it was snowing outside. Nevertheless, a few hours later, Minho appeared on Jisung’s door and forced him to wait in the living room while he talked with Hyunjin. His friend never told him what they’d talked about but two hours later everything between the couple was fixed and Hyunjin smiled while kissing Seungmin’s temple. 

“Well, then he is a nice guy with everyone except from me.” Jisung smiled and drank all the beer left in his jar. “Don’t try to fix what cannot be fixed, Hyunjin. We’re both okay with hating each other, it’s kind of our thing.”

“You two have a thing?” Hyunjin raised his brows in a suggestive way, implying things that never crossed Jisung’s mind.

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Jisung raised his hand and asked for two more beers after glaring at Hyunjin. “You seem to forget that I actually despise Minho.”

“Well, you didn’t even mention the fact that you have a boyfriend,” Hyunjin said, taking the first sip to their newly served beer. “Is everything okay between you and Yongha?” And just a second after, Hyunjin knew that he shouldn’t have asked that.

Han Jisung had always been an open book to Hwang Hyunjin, the older boy always knew what was going through his mind even before jisung himself knew it. So when Jisung’s eyes gleamed with sadness for a few seconds before putting his usual silly smile on his lips, Hyunjin was startled because he did not see it coming.

“It’s not our best moment,” Jisung answered. “He is busy with his job and it is not like I have tons of free time with mine. But we will be okay, so don’t worry.”

Yoo Yongha was Jisung’s long-term boyfriend and the main reason of Minho and Jisung’s fights. Once Jisung discovered how Minho truly was, he obviously had to get over that stupid crush he had on the older boy, and if there was something that he knew it was that one nail drives out another. So what was better than finding another crush to focus his complete attention? Sweet Yoo Yongha, Minho’s childhood friend, happened to be that crush.

It wasn’t a special story. Just two boys tired of how the world, and especially one person, treated them. Because even if Minho was Yongha’s friend, he made the other feel lonely. For some time Jisung and Yongha would see each other in secret, where not even Hyunjin would see them. But after some time everyone noticed how Yongha, who was a year older and therefore had classes on another floor, escorted Jisung to all of his classes, how they came together to school and how they would say goodbye to each other at the gates of the building. By the time Minho found out about their relationship, there was no turning back, Jisung had fallen in love with Yongha and his feelings were reciprocated. But of course, Minho could not let Jisung be happy, so he forced Yongha to make a decision: it was either them or Jisung. Yongha, to everyone’s surprise, chose Jisung and from that moment forward, Jisung swore that he would not be defeated by Minho. He would not give him the satisfaction of giving up, of surrendering.

“Are you sure it’s just that? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Hyunjin was aware of how his friend would make it seem like nothing serious was happening, they were raised together and he knew all the details about him. 

“I know, you're the closest friend I have, Hyunjin.” Jisung’s smile was sincere but it didn’t reach his eyes as it usually did. It was clear that he wasn’t the happiest at that moment. “It’s just that the moments we spent together… I don’t know, I feel like I’m alone even when I’m with him. And before you start, no, he hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s probably just my insecurities, you know? Old friends we are.”

“Jisung, I don’t know if it is because after all these years you can’t see it, but when there’s a problem between you two, you always take the blame,” Hyunjin started. During all the years he witnessed the fights between the couple and always, for one reason or another, Jisung was the one apologizing. “Maybe you should start thinking less about the problem and more about why you feel that way with him around.”

“I mean, I know that he may be upset about something I did but I feel like if we talk it out, everything will be exposed and I will lose him.”

“Is that really a bad thing?” Jisung knew about the disliking of his friend towards his boyfriend, it wasn’t something new, and Jisung got used to it. Some days it was better and some days it was worse, but what actually mattered was that even if Hyunjin didn't like his boyfriend, he always stayed by his side. “Well, you know what they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe you can find someone at my wedding.”

“Yeah sure, someone like Minho, right?” Jisung said jokingly. 

“Why not?” Of course Hyunjin didn’t mean it, but he liked to play jokes on Jisung and even more after the younger told him that he once liked Minho. 

“You know what? Best friend card revoked, go and ask Chan hyung to be your best man.” Jisung crossed his arms on his chest and looked away, pretending to be mad. “From now on I don’t know a Hwang Hyunjin anymore, thank you very much.”

“Oh, thank god, I thought you would never ask. After these twenty-five years, finally I got rid of Han Jisung,” Hyunjin said and then laughed after watching Jisung’s over exaggerated reaction. “Come on, don’t be mad. I know perfectly that nothing could ever happen between Minho hyung and you.”

“Thank you, I—”

“Yeah, you’re not even hyung’s type.” The soon to-be-married added. “He likes smart boys. Guys that care about their appearance and that know how to protect themselves.”

“Wait, don’t you think that—”

“And also mature; he would never go out with a childish boy, that’s for sure.” 

“Okay, enough. I don’t care about how Minho likes his men. I am not interested in being one so please cut it out.” Jisung rolled his eyes and looked at the window beside him. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” Hyunjin said then, finishing his beer and putting on a scarf around his neck. “Anyway, and on a happier note, the wedding will be on the 24th of December.”

“You really had to be a living clichè, didn’t you?” 

“We both agreed on doing it on our anniversary, Sung. The fact that you are alone and needy of affection does not mean that we all are, so brighten up a little and please try not to fight with Minho hyung okay?” Hyunjin got up and buttoned up his coat. “Seungmin has been stressed enough preparing everything for the wedding and I know that he does not need you both arguing.”

Jisung did not answer that. Instead, he imitated his friend’s actions and put on his coat. Both boys went outside and were welcomed by the cold weather of the end of November, hands on the pockets of their jackets. 

“Next week we will have the first reunion with the best men for the wedding, so I recommend you to brace yourself and get ready.” Hyunjin looked at his phone while saying this. “I want to think that you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I promise that I’ll behave, but can he say the same thing?” Jisung answered, raising his brow. 

“You better keep that promise, Jisung,” Said Hyunjin before stopping a cab and getting inside. “We are not kids anymore, maybe it is time for you both to move on and start treating the other as, I don’t know, human beings.”

“As if possible.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes and closed the door of the car after muttering something that sounded like ‘childish’. Jisung saw the cab going downstreet and sighed, the vapor leaving his mouth as he closed his eyes. It was going to be a tiring month for him. Being in the same room as Minho, even if it was for ten minutes, always left a feeling of exhaustion on his body, heavy as a blanket and cold as ice. 

The older hated him, and Jisung reciprocated the feeling. Well, to be honest, it was not that he _hated_ Minho. Yes, he made his life in high school a living hell, and he was probably one of the most manipulative persons he had ever met, but Jisung squared accounts with him each single time and where Minho hit, Jisung hit harder. Actually he was sure that if they tried, they could be friends - or at least civil around the other -; if he had learnt something throughout the years of being enemies it was that they were pretty similar, much to Jisung’s personal disguise. Minho was passionate about every single thing he did and hated being told what to do, he was also the type of guy who said whatever that came to his mind, not caring to add a filter, so confident about himself that would make anyone think of him as an egocentric. Jisung maybe did not hate Minho, at the end they both were teenagers when the bad blood surged between them and they probably just kept it as a tradition, but he surely hated seeing so much of himself in the other and much more after truly knowing how despicable his personality was. Lucky for him, and despite these similarities, they were also completely different: where Minho was calm under pressure, Jisung would always be a ball of nervousness; while Minho spent most of his time updating on Twitter or on Instagram what he was doing, where he was going and with who he was spending his time, Jisung was pretty reserved with his personal life, not feeling the need of sharing about his life with others. 

Yes, they could be friends if they tried, but Jisung did not want to try. He just wanted to live a peaceful life without Minho around. But again, Hyunjin was his best friend, the one who was there on the bad and even the worst times of his life, and if he told him to jump from the Eiffel Tower Jisung would do it - it seemed less dangerous than sharing his space with Minho for a whole month anyway -.

With that thought on his mind, he laid his head on the pillow and tried to fall asleep. Yes, he could do that for Hyunjin. He already dealt with Minho during high school, how bad could it get? They were adults at the end, right? At the end, they were adults, right? It should be fine.

_2nd of December_

“Oh my god, this is not fine, I cannot do this.” Jisung got up from the chair he was sitting on and looked at Minho with his eyes widely open. “How can you even suggest that?”

“Do you really have to be so dramatic, Han?” Minho stood up too and Hyunjin sighed for the fifth time that afternoon.

It started nicely, Jisung and Minho even greeted each other in the elevator - because yes, they arrived at the same time and went up together to avoid walking up six floors -, but as soon as the reunion started everything went downhill pretty quickly. It began with a comment from Minho mentioning how his “dear friend Yongha” was and of course Jisung had to answer. If he didn’t that would mean that Minho won, and if there was something that Han Jisung hated even more than being told what to do, that was losing. Losing would mean that all those years during high school, Minho was right when he called him loser and Jisung was no loser.

Not even two hours passed when Jisung decided that yes, he loved Hyunjin, but that was way too much to bear, so if Minho was going to be an asshole, the bare minimum he could do was fight back. But Jisung did not remember how each comment Minho made put him in a state of choler, almost fuming about every single thing the other said - whether it was right or wrong -. So at the end, they just crossed swords at every single thing discussed during the reunion.

“Are you crazy or just stupid, Han?” Minho said, raising his brow and looking directly at Jisung.

Minho hadn’t changed much since high school - nothing more than the typical sharpness that only years could give to his features -. His hair was still dark brown, although some caramel reflections could be seen after his multiple changes of dye, and it looked softer than ever. His body also became more toned, probably an effect of becoming a professional dancer, but his skin remained smooth as satin and lightly tanned. 

Even after the passing of the years, he remained incredibly handsome. But that was just another detail that Jisung hated about him.

“That’s funny coming from someone who dedicated his last years at high school torturing me instead of studying.” 

“For your information, I graduated with honors. And please, for God’s sake, don’t act as if you didn’t make my last year an agony.”

“Well, that’s because you—”

Hyunjin was very well known for his patience, always a cold mind whenever someone would piss him off - only a few times he had lost his temper, and Jisung always thanked that he was not the focus of his anger or else he would be dead by now -. So when he finally reached his limit, Jisung mentally begged for mercy. 

A loud thump was heard and both boys turned their heads to look at Hyunjin who was bitting his lips, probably trying to hold back all the ugly words that were coming at his mind. 

“Shut it out! Both of you!” Hyunjin screamed, his hands were on the table where all the papers with different colours and textures were and at some moment he also got up. “I’ve had more than enough of you. I don’t care about your stupid strifes or about who started bothering the other, you both were assholes during high school but you’re too much in the paper of the victim to even realize that. And I actually don’t care, we are talking about my wedding here and if you are not able to stay in the same room for more than five minutes and act as civil persons I’ll make sure you suffer every single day you have left on Earth.”

Minho and Jisung were petrified, not daring to say a word, afraid of how Hyunjin could react to anything they had to say. Hyunjin may be a big puppy, unable to hurt a fly, but he would surely kick their asses if they pissed him off enough. Meanwhile, Seungmin stood up and put his hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders, massaging delicately and trying to calm him down.

“I’m killing them,” Hyunjin cried then, his ears were completely red and he looked two seconds away from bursting.

“Let me handle this, okay?” Seungmin replied, interlocking his gaze with his finaceé’s, an aura of intimacy surrounding them. “Can you go and order from that burger place? You know I always mess up the order.” Hyunjin laughed softly and went out of the room, not before throwing a gaze to the dynamic duo who looked terrified at him.

“God… He is scary, huh?” Jisung then said, sitting on his chair again, sighing.

“Han Jisung, if you think he is scary, wait to see what I can do,” Said Seungmin once he was sure Hyunjin could not hear them. “We both are really stressed preparing the things for the wedding, and believe me when I say that I wouldn’t drop a tear if you collaborated a little.”

“I am actually trying, Min, but I can’t do much if this thing here argues with every single thing I say,” Minho uttered.

“Did you just call me _thing_?”

“Enough,” Seungmin exclaimed, stopping the upcoming argument. “If you want to be part of this wedding you should at least help us. We trusted you enough to collaborate with us for this but if you keep this feud of yours, I won’t care what Hyunjin says, I’ll let you both out.

Jisung sighed and looked at Minho, who surprisingly was already looking at him. For the very first time, Jisung did not feel disgust on his gaze but it wasn’t either sympathy. He just wanted to be there for his friend as much as Jisung wanted to be there for Hyunjin.

Jisung and Minho may be enemies but they were able to understand the other without talking - probably that was the main reason why they were able to bother one another so much -. So Jisung knew it, he knew that it was time to surrender. Not because he wanted to give up, but because he loved Hyunjin more than he loved anyone else.

“Okay,” Jisung sighed again. “What do you want us to do?”

“Do you promise to show good manners?” Seungmin asked with a serious face. “If you don’t you can go, I don’t want you here.”

“I promise on Soonie, that I won’t say a bad word”

“Not only that, Minho,” Seungmin said. “Promise to not say anything that could bother Jisung.”

“Yes, promise that,” Jisung rejoiced.

“Lord… Okay, I promise to not bother during the preparations,” Minho almost recited and Jisung smiled triumphantly. “But once everything is over, we go back to normal. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m friends with that thing.”

“A good way to start with the formalities would be to stop calling me thing,” Jisung demanded. “I have a name, asshole.”

“Jisung…”

“I haven’t promised anything yet.” The look on Seungmin’s eyes as Jisung spoke, made him shiver inside. “Okay, I promise.”

“Perfect! Now that you both have agreed…” Seungmin looked between all the papers distributed on the table, searching for a black folder about to explode due to all the papers that were inside it. “Here, you will take care of all of this. Together.”

“Are you kidding me, Min?” Minho exclaimed, almost furious. “We can’t even be in a room together with the two of you for more than five minutes and you expect us to do all of that?”

“Exactly,” Seungmin answered, his voice two or three tones lower than usual. “Do you have a problem with it? You could also use this time to figure out your own things, Minho.”

For a moment, Jisung felt out of place. Yes, it was true that he wasn’t Seungmin’s bestest friend, but usually he was able to read a room and for some reason, he felt as if he didn’t have some of the information about what was happening.

“I hate you,” Minho said then, interrupting Jisung’s train of thoughts. “Okay, what is the first task?”

“I can’t believe he got us to do the sitting arrangement,” Minho said to the air.

Jisung was sitting on the floor with a paper bigger than himself there, tons of circles drawn on it and blue mini flags with names on them scattered all over the paper. Jisung had two of the mini flags on his hands and looked puzzled while looking at the two only free spots of what would be the tables at the wedding place. 

“If I sit Hyojin hyung and Ryujin on the same table they will kill each other…” He whined while ignoring Minho, who was sitting on one of the couches in the room.

Once Seungmin gave them the list of things they had to do, he drove them out of their apartment so Hyunjin and him could calm his nerves with a romantic dinner based on burgers and french fries. That only left the option of going to Jisung’s flat since Minho’s was more than an hour away.

Minho observed that Jisung’s apartment was decorated in a minimalist style, contrary to what he would have thought of the younger. It was messy, much messier than what Minho liked. A urgent need of taking a sponge, a broom and a mop invaded his body when he saw the amount of plastic bottles piled up in front of the small table that decorated the living room.

“Have you ever cleaned this place?” Minho asked, watching some strange stains on the wall behind the TV. “This place is giving me the chills.”

“But if I sit Hyojin at a different table, Seungjoon will probably be sad, and if I sit Ryujin somewhere else she will get mad because she is apart from Eunbi noona.” Jisung kept murmuring, looking at the two flags on his hands. “And I don’t want to move anyone else because I’ve already spent four hours on this.”

“You’re giving it too much thought, Han,” Minho said, getting up from the couch and sitting on the floor with him - not without sweeping it a little with the sleeve of his black sweater -, taking the two flags from his little hands.

Minho looked at the map on the floor and Jisung directed his gaze towards his face. Just as he remembered, he had angelic features but he looked much maturer - his cheeks lost the baby fat they had, leaving place to sharp angles in the right places -, the years growing deep on him. His lashes were as long as Jisung recalled them and made his eyes look bigger, glowing with an innocent glist, although he was everything but innocent. Minho’s hair fell graciously, hiding slightly part of his forehead.

There, with the dim lights of his apartment and them all over the floor, Jisung thought about the old times. It was inevitable. Although they’ve spent most of their lives as enemies, Jisung never forgot his first impression of Minho: an angel fallen from the sky. So as the older man spoke, Jisung smiled weakly. Minho was helping him, like genuinely helping him, and Jisung thought, in some small space of his mind, that maybe it was an indication of something. 

As much as Jisung hated to admit it, people changed and that included Minho. Yes, the display of arrogance that he had that same afternoon in the lovebirds' apartment just corrobed that Minho couldn’t have changed that much. But Jisung was an optimistic person, he always looked at the good things in everyone and maybe, he wanted to believe that Minho was not as much an asshole as he was in the past.

“Are you even listening to me?” Minho asked, turning his head to look at the other boy, who seemed caught up on his thoughts. “Seriously, do you want to get this thing done or not?”

Jisung, caught red-handed, coughed and looked away, knowing that if he let Minho know what he was thinking, he would never see the end of it. “I am just tired, it is almost midnight and I haven’t eaten anything since this afternoon.”

“The sooner we finish, the sooner you get to eat,” Minho answered dryly while focusing on the paper again. “I was saying that even if you put Hyojin and Ryujin on the same table, I doubt that they will do anything. They are already adults and know that it is better to not make Seungmin angry.”

A few minutes more passed in which Minho changed small details of Jisung’s initial arrangement, sometimes requiring details about the persons who were invited to the wedding and some other times asking for Jisung’s permission to change things.

“So we change Chaeyeon and Jisoo, and this way Chan hyung can sit with us, right?” Jisung exhaled some of the air he had been retaining while working with Minho. “I really hope Hyojin hyung and Ryujin do not give us any problems.”

Minho looked at Jisung directly in the eyes, while putting the two little flags. “Exactly. As I said, you were giving too much thought to it. People change.”

Jisung was a person that felt in a very passionate way, and everyone around him knew that. Things that may be simple for others, would make his stomach spin around a thousand times. So when Minho looked at him, a gaze full of sorrow, Jisung felt like hugging him. Like forgiving everything he had done and start on a new page, as if it were the first time they met each other. Because there was something in that moment, something that trespassed Jisung’s skin and left a nice feeling on his bones and muscles. A warm sensation spreading all over his chest. Maybe it was time to make amends, to let Minho and Yongha be friends again.

Yongha…

Jisung thought about the times during high school in which Yongha would appear at his house crying, he also thought about the way everyone turned their backs on him when he chose Jisung over Minho, but mainly, he thought about the one who was responsible of all of that.

“People do not change that much, Lee,” Jisung said getting up, his purple hoodie falling rolling from his hips to his legs. He did not know what that moment was, but he surely didn’t want to explore it any further. “I can finish this alone, I only have to write their names and it will be over.”

Minho stayed still, looking at the place where the younger one was before, visibly shocked, but at the end he also got up. Recomposing himself, just the way Jisung did moments before “Okay, you do what you do. It is not like I wanted to be here any longer.”

And that was the Minho that Jisung knew. The one full of himself, of arrogance, that looked down on everyone and everything. The one that did not care about other people’s feelings and only thought about himself. That is the Minho he knew.

“Well, then be glad that you don’t have to spend any moment in here, you can take your things and go.” Jisung smiled sarcastically and stretched his arms, trying to not look how Minho put his sweater under his pants, looking ridiculously fine, and walked towards the door.

“You’re not going to thank me? That is rude.”

“For what? I could have reached that solution by myself and also, Seungmin told us to work, not only me.” Jisung replied while Minho started to put on his coat. “We will meet next week to do the other task. I think that I met my limit with you for a week.”

Minho was opening his mouth when the front door of the apartment unlocked, letting in a man taller than the other two. He was wrapped in a long brown trench coat and a red scarf around his neck. A scarf that Jisung recognized well since he was the one who gave it to yongha as an anniversary present.

“Sunggie, are you home? I’m sorry I came so late, I—” Yongha stopped talking when he saw his boyfriend’s company that night. “Minho.”

“Oh, you actually remember my name,” Minho said, his eyes burning with enclosed anger. “Good to know.”

“If you are going to fight with him, you better get out.” Jisung’s voice came out as ice and even Yongha looked at him shocked, not expecting the coldness coming from him. “I’ll see you next week, Lee. Now go.”

Minho let out a chuckle and looked at Jisung, unlike how he had looked at him before, his eyes were full of disgust, and Jisung wondered how a boy like him could have been the same boy that in his eyes always looked like an angel.

“Of course.” Minho passed through Yongha, who still had the knob on his hand, and glared at him before leaving the apartment.

The door closed with Minho’s leaving, and Jisung felt like he finally could breathe again.

“What was he doing here?” But of course Yongha wanted explanations. “It is past midnight.”

“I know, we just got caught up on the wedding things,” Jisung answered, going for a hug from his boyfriend. “You will never believe what happened.”

_7th of December_

“So, how are you holding up?” Seungmin asked while trying an icing that looked like a thick layer of snow. “With Jisung I mean.”

“He is insufferable, I swear to god that I can’t wait for your wedding to happen.” Minho took a sip of the coffee he was having when Seungmin turned around to look at him and raised a brow. “What? He always has something to replicate about the things I say. It is like he doesn’t want to admit that I am right just because I am me.”

“It is exactly why he is doing it, Minho.” Seungmin laughed and tried out another icing, this time a metallic one that looked like melted gold.

“Well, then he better stop. It is making me go nuts.”

“But that’s what you actually like, isn’t it?” Seungmin asked, writing something on a paper he had. “You like it when he defies you, right?”

Minho frowned and looked at his friend trying to identify any other traces of craziness on him, or at least something that indicated him that he was joking.

“Please tell me that you are not insinuating what I think you’re insinuating, Min,” Minho said. “I hate, Han Jisung. Do you think that all the fighting through the years was because I liked it?”

“What I think is that a lot of time has passed since the last time you saw each other, he got cute. And well, I know you.” Seungmin left his fork on the plate in front of him. “I saw the way you looked at him in the reunion.”

“Then you also saw how we fought.” Minho crossed his arms on his chest and sighed. “Seriously Min, where are you trying to get? Jisung and I have been enemies since the first time we saw each other.”

“You can lie to yourself if you want to, Minho, but you can’t lie to me. I know you better than anyone else in this world and if you’ve been treating Jisung like this it is because you like him,” Seungmin said, his face full of tranquility while he grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip. “Or isn’t that the main reason why you asked for Yongha in the reunion? You wanted to know if they were still together.”

“How can you even say that? Are you crazy?” 

Seungmin sighed and closed his eyes, not wanting to deal with Minho’s issues of not knowing how to show the right emotions in the right moments. It was always like that when he liked someone, he would go first for the phase of denying it and Seungmin had to be the one opening his eyes. Unlike Jisung, Minho was a person that didn’t feel intensely. He felt things for a long time, yes, but it wasn’t an overwhelming feeling, at least not usually. So when something or someone made his heart race and his blood pressure go high, he would always misinterpret the feeling, confusing it with anger or whatever other emotion that could hide his true sentiments. Usually it did not get as bad as Jisung’s case, sometimes time healed, but it seemed that when the younger boy was involved, not even the years nor the absence of the other, cured him.

“You know? You are already an adult, I thought that the management of your feelings would have grown up with you. I thought that your issues would be fixed by now, but yet here we are.” This time, Seungmin tried a piece of cake, it seemed light. “I am tired of telling you what is the right thing, Minho. You know I love you, but I can’t and I won’t be opening your eyes when you want to keep them shut."

“I don’t have any issues,” Minho exclaimed. “And I don’t like Han Jisung.”

“Then I should not tell you that he broke up with Yongha, right?” Seungmin said, anger starting to form inside of him, he refused to believe that someone could be as dense as his friend.

Minho, after Seungmin said that, got paralyzed. 

He never thought about the possibility of them breaking up. It was true that he did not like Yongha very much, not after all the bad blood between them, but he did not think that their relationship was so weak. At least, it surely seemed like Jisung loved Yongha and he was not the type to give up on something so easily. So it shocked Minho hearing the news.

“He did what?” 

“Yeah, a few days after the first reunion we had,” Seungmin mumbled. “Hyunjin told me that they were passing through a rough moment and that your apparition was the icing on the cake.”

“My apparition?” Minho asked. Yes, he was aware of how much Yongha hated him after high school, but he never thought that it would get to the point where he broke up with his boyfriend just because he spent some time with him. 

Minho and Yongha’s story was quite complicated. They were best friends since they were toddlers but as they grew up, some of Yongha’s tendencies got in the middle of their relationship. When they were in High School it got to the point in which Yongha would go after everything Minho showed interest. Even now, Minho was not sure if it was because of possessiveness or just plain envy. Whatever it was, Minho asked him to stop it, to let him live his life, and not much after he discovered that Yongha was dating Jisung - although he already had his suspicions, the couple were not precisely discrete -.

“You know how disturbed he is. I still don’t know why Jisung started dating him...” Seungmin frowned as he tried out the last cake. “But you see, that only adds things to my point. Yongha started dating Jisung after you gave him an ultimatum and let me tell you that your interest in him was pretty clear. He clearly started that relationship to make you angry.”

“Okay, now you’re just making things up,” Minho muttered. Actually it made sense, but it was easier to ignore the whole thing, to ignore the feeling on his chest, just like he had been doing for years.

“Jisung cried that night, you know.” Seungmin declared. “Hyunjin had to rush to his apartment at three am that night because he called him sobbing.”

“He didn’t tell me about it when we went to do the tasks…” 

Minho recalled the day they went to the flower shop, it was true that he seemed a little off but he just thought that it was related to something else, not to Yongha. It was clear if Minho thought about it: he way his cheeks and eyes were puffier, how he didn’t talk back to Minho although he tried to start a fight, how anytime Minho brought up Yongha in their conversation, he would brush it off, changing the topic completely. Jisung and Yongha had broken up.

Minho’s heart started to thump harder on his chest, making it impossible to ignore.

Did he truly like Jisung? It is true that Seungmin knew him better than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that he had to be right about everything. And yet, coming to think of it, Minho actually had some… tendencies. He lived by the motto that once Elsa said ‘conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know’ so every time he liked someone he tried to hide it. Initially it was because of how afraid he was of rejection but then, when Yongha started to get a grip on him, he did it to not make the younger boy upset. He saw Yongha as his little brother so hurting him would mean hurting himself. So the best solution for him was to just ignore whatever he was feeling and if that wasn’t enough, maybe try to eradicate it, everything to not make Yongha sad. And just like that, Minho acquired some types of unhealthy mechanisms. Ignoring one’s feelings was easier than letting someone precious down.

“Why would he? Not to be me, Minho, but you are one of his least favourite persons on Earth.”

Minho knew it, but still, for some reason, it hurt. Maybe it was because it was said out loud, or maybe because Seungmin had already planted the seed of confusion on him, making him question things he never really dared to ask himself. What if he really liked Jisung? That would explain many things like the way he felt the night they were arranging the seats for the wedding. With the dim lights of Jisung’s apartment and with him so close to Minho, he felt something. A warm sensation spreading all over him, just like when he got home and Soonie started to circle his legs, its tail caressing him. There were other important factors to consider too, like the way Minho thought Jisung’s cheeks were cute, two little cookie doughs that could be kneaded. Or how fascinating was how Jisung looked at everything he did not understand, a glist of curiosity mixed with mischief that created something that Minho liked to categorize as typical of Han Jisung. He had observed enough of the younger to note mentally small details about him.

Oh, crap.

“Seungmin, do I like Jisung?” Minho was looking at some point in the wallpaper of the room, shocked by his own discovery, hearing louder than ever the beat of his heart.

“Are you really questioning that?” Seungmin sighed and left everything he had on his hands just to look at Minho. “Minho, have you ever wondered why you kept on the prank game with him? Why didn’t you just leave it?” Minho looked puzzled so Seungmin continued. “You wanted his attention and you knew that he was with Yongha so that was the only way you could have it. You have a twisted mind, so it was expected.”

“But—”

“You asked me, and that is my answer, Minho.”

Seungmin was looking at him as he gulped loudly. Feelings were not Minho’s field and dealing with emotions was harder than he thought. It had been years since he convinced himself about hating Jisung and reality slapped him on the face. Hard.

He liked Jisung. The same Jisung that pulled out pranks on him almost everyday in high school. The same Han Jisung he pulled pranks on. 

The same Han Jisung that probably still hated him.

_23rd of December_

“Welcome to paradise,” A man with pompous ropes and glitter all around his face opened the doors for the eight boys and all of them entered the place saying ‘thank you’.

It was the day before the wedding, and the love birds decided that they didn’t want any kind of stag party, just a night with their close ones, remembering old times - for better or worse -. And so they did. On the night of the 23rd of December all eight of them went to the Astronaut salon, which Hyunjin made sure to reserve for the whole night, on their best clothes just to get ready and have a little fun before the big day.

It had been a little more than two weeks since Minho knew about his feelings for Jisung and no matter what he said, it was not an easy shot. Minho had experienced all the phases: starting with the negation about it - how could he like Jisung when he made his life impossible -, until he finally reached realization. He liked Han Jisung. He liked him in a way he had never liked anyone.

Of course, Jisung made him angry from time to time, but Minho even liked that. He loved the fight, the games and the schemes that the younger one brought. He liked how Jisung was able to bring out the worst in him.

So during those weeks, Minho tried to spend more time with Jisung, still accepting the fact that all that hate he used to feel for the other was no other thing than attraction. Dealing with feelings wasn’t easy, and it was even worse when the person of your affection seemed to hate you.

It was easy when they were not together, Minho had his time to think about how he was feeling - obviously with Seungmin’s help -, the way Jisung’s actions repercuted on him, how they altered his mood. It actually helped, just like therapy, but the problem was that Minho started to want more. When they were together, Minho felt a heaviness on his heart but strangely enough, it didn’t feel bad. So he did what Seungmin advised him to: start hinting that he liked Jisung.

It could not happen out of sudden or he would scare him. Maybe one day he would compliment his ideas on the arrangement of the wedding, another day he would compliment how he stylized his hair, and the most he had done was winking an eye to him - of course, Jisung asked him if he had something on his eye -. But somehow, he felt that it was working, Jisung was starting to grow fond of him. Sadly, that didn’t mean that he liked him, but it was a beginning.

Those weeks were also used to know more about Jisung, more about the boy he was, the man he became and the kind of person he aspired to be. Minho learnt that Jisung loved music as much as he loved dancing and that he was more than a crackhead. He was someone who would take pain if that meant that others didn’t have to suffer it, he was a man who would not tolerate unfairness. He was also a little wicked - just like Minho -, but it was okay, because Minho liked it that way, with no filters. He was intelligent to a point that it surprised the older, it wasn’t the type of intelligence acquired in class but more the one that left him thinking about the universe and why things were the way they were.

Han Jisung was a whole cosmos, and Minho just wanted to discover more of him.

The boys entered the club, Hyunjin talking and laughing with Jisung, Changbin and Felix while the rest talked with Seungmin. That night was about fun, about having a great time, not about Minho’s existential crisis because Han Jisung decided that it would be a good idea to wear a crop top and tight black jeans. It was definitely not about that — although Minho was ready to write a whole PowerPoint about how tiny Jisung’s waist was.

“I propose a toast,” Said Chan, the oldest in the group, when they were already halfway through the night. By that time Minho already had more drinks that he would like to admit, everything to get a certain boy out of his mind. “For Seungmin and Hyunjin”

Everyone raised their cups and exclaimed their names while Chan got up, all eyes on him as he looked at the couple.

“I think I talk in the name of everyone present here when I say that I had no doubts about you two. When you met each other, the universe finally decided that the perfect match existed, it was obvious.” He smiled like a proud father would do. “You know, it is said that humans were born with two heads, four arms and four legs but that they were separated, creating what we call soulmates. We are supposed to run around like chickens without their heads, trying to find the missing half of us. But it was so clear with you…”

Everyone was in complete silence, so somehow the moment became completely intimate.

“You started on adversity, but you made it work because you were not afraid of loving,” When Chan said those words, Minho couldn’t help but look at Jisung. Was that the key? Being brave? “You loved each other and in times of difficulties, held the other closer than what it is actually possible, and continued walking.”

Chan continued talking, but Minho was not listening anymore as he admirated Jisung’s features with the dim lights that the club offered him. He was pretty, there was no doubt in that. His cheeks were quite chubby and made him look innocent, his eyes were big and of a beautiful melted chocolate color. But what Minho started to like the most was probably his lips. They were plump, and each time Jisung smiled they would grow bigger to the sides. They also seemed very kissable, but that was just a plus for Minho. 

And because Minho was looking at Jisung, he saw the fast movement of his hand wiping out some of the tears that were stainting his beautiful cheeks. He saw how Jisung tried to control his sobbing until it became too much and he stormed out of the room, leaving everyone inside quite shocked.

Hyunjin stood up to go after his friend, but it was too late. Minho had already opened the door and left the room.

Chan, who was still with his drink on one hand, looked perplexed. “Did I say something wrong?”

Minho ran after Jisung - which was not an easy task given how fast the younger boy was and how tipsy Minho felt - and when he finally found him outside, sitting next to the back door of the club, he finally breathed. He approached Jisung and without saying a word, sat by his side. 

Jisung was completely aware of his presence, how couldn’t he when a sudden warmth embraced him? It was just too much. Too many feelings, too much pressure and too many things on his head.

And it was making him feel dizzy, because those past weeks it was Minho the one who had been there for him, even if he did not know about Yongha. About the way he exploded that night when he saw Jisung with Minho in his apartment. About the way, he said horrible things, not considering how it could affect Jisung. Becoming everything he swore not to be. Holding against Jisung all the things he did in the past, all the schemes he made against Minho and all the things he never told him about how he felt.

“What happened inside?” Minho whispered minutes after, only for Jisung to hear.

“I just got emotional, weddings are too romantic for me,” Jisung sobbed. Minho could feel the sleeve of his shirt getting wet and it was probably stained with Jisung’s makeup too, but he did not care. He just wanted to make sure that the boy was okay.

“Are you sure it is not related to Yongha?” 

Jisung raised his head from the embracement and looked directly at Minho. He was much closer that the younger one expected, so much that he could see his reflection on Minho’s eyes. His eye makeup was completely smudged and his eyes red, looking completely in distress.

“You know about it.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I knew.” Minho had his eyes locked on Jisung, on how beautiful he looked even after crying. “I was hoping you would tell me about it eventually.”

“It is okay,” Jisung muttered. “It’s just that Chan said a lot of beautiful things about Hyunjin and Seungmin and I just thought why that didn’t happen to me. I’m not envious but I want real love too, not a love that comes from loneliness, Minho.”

And Minho couldn’t even imagine how Jisung was feeling, but even if he did, he would not know how to put it into words. Not when Jisung was so close to him, smelling like that fancy cologne he liked to use and crying his eyes out for a man that was not worthy of him. Because Minho was sure, no one was worthy of Han Jisung.

He just wanted to kiss Jisung in that exact instant, but he knew that it would only upset him even more. So he did the best thing he could do, talk to him and offer a shoulder to cry on.

“Jisung, I know that we are not the bestest friends to ever exist and that probably we will never be, but I know that you deserve much more,” Minho muttered. “Yes, you deserve a real love, a right love. The one that only very few people can get. You deserve someone who will be there for you always, giving you his heart at the fullest, not being afraid of showing it.”

Jisung, who had calmed his tears moments before, started crying again. This time silently.

“You deserve someone who makes you feel strong, who makes you feel happy. Someone who loves not despite everything you are, but because of it.” Minho held Jisung’s hands and smiled at him, trying to show some comfort. “You deserve more than what Yongha will ever be.”

“But I feel like everything has fallen apart, Minho,” Jisung cried, lowering his gaze to their hands. “I feel like I’ve been dragged to this spiral of sadness and now I just can’t move on.”

“You still have me…”

Minho didn’t know if it was the alcohol, the situation or the way Jisung looked at him but he decided to break the one rule he imposed to himself seconds before. He decided that he was no coward anymore and that if he liked Jisung, he should start to show it, to demonstrate it. 

With trembling hands, Minho touched Jisung’s cheeks. They were softer that what he had originally thought, feeling like heaven and welcoming the warmth on his hands. But he was sure that his favourite sensation was the way Jisung’s lips felt when he connected his very own lips to kiss him.

It was salty at first - Jisung’s tears somehow reached his lips -, and it got mixed with the faint taste of alcohol of Minho’s mouth. It was also warm against the cold weather of December. But most importantly, it was right. It felt like everything they’ve lived together was just for that first kiss and it finally made sense. All the fighting, all the things they had said, all the things they had felt...

But, although it felt so right, it was unknown to Jisung and it made his stomach flip around. He did not know how to feel because not even ten minutes ago he was crying for Yongha and now, Minho was kissing him. Lee Minho was kissing him.

For a moment everything became too much and it destabilized Jisung’s world.

Kisses are meant to cause some sensations, but no kiss should ever feel as short as their first kiss together. Short as a breeze, when Jisung got up and disappeared inside the club, leaving Minho alone and confused with so many unanswered questions.

_24th of December - THE DAY OF THE WEDDING_

“Where the hell is Hyunjin?” Jisung asked Felix. The anger inside him was crawling, faster than ever, making his hands tremble.

“I don’t know, okay? I am panicking here too. He said he was going to the bathroom, but that was two hours ago. I am calling him but he doesn’t answer and the wedding is in an hour. This is stressing me way too much and I’m not even getting paid,” Felix answered, everything way too quickly for Jisung to process.

Jisung had not slept that night and decided to use his time doing productive things before the wedding, trying to not think much about Minho or kisses - especially kisses coming from Minho -. So when he wanted to even realize, he was running late for the wedding. The real surprise hit him when he entered the room in which Hyunjin was supposed to be waiting and saw nobody. Felix and Jeongin clearly panicked while telling him how Hyunjin was missing and how Chan had to go out to search for him.

“So what you are actually telling me is that we have lost one of the grooms?” Jisung was trying to inhale air in a sequence of seconds he saw online in order to not start screaming. How could someone lose a person? Was that even possible?

“Essentially, yes.”

“I can’t fucking believe he—” Jisung was about to combust when the door opened.

“What the hell is happening here?” Seungmin entered the room, with Minho on his side. He scanned everyone here and frowned. “Where is Hyunjin?”

Seungmin looked gorgeous. A white esmoquin, similar to the one Hyunjin should be wearing, made him look more elegant than he had ever looked. It seemed perfect for him, accentuating his beautiful and slim figure.

“He—” Jeongin started but was interrupted by Jisung.

“He has gone to the bathroom, Seungmin. You know, he is anxious,” Jisung lied, his fingers getting cold due to the nervousness he was feeling. This was Minho’s turn to frown.

“Oh God okay. For a moment I thought that he regretted the whole wedding thing.” Seungmin smiled and let some of the air he had been containing out. “I’ll be going to my room, tell him to be on time okay? I don’t want our guests to wait.” Seungmin started to walk towards the door but seeing how Minho was not moving, he turned around. “Are you coming?”

“Yes, sure. Give me a minute and I’ll catch on you okay?” Minho crossed his arms and looked directly at Jisung, and the younger boy just wanted the Earth to eat him alive. He did not want to be in the same room as Minho, not at least until he figured out what the zoo on his belly meant.

Once Seungmin left the room, he got closer to Jisung, and he could feel the familiar warmth emanating from him. It was the same warmth that last night embraced him, made him feel safe and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

Jisung did not know what happened, and probably didn’t want to know it because that would mean that there was something between them. Something that attracts them to each other. Minho kissed him, and contrary to everything he thought that he would be feeling, it was alright, he even liked it. It was sweetest that most of his kisses with his ex boyfriend and although he was sad, his chest felt warm for the very first time in who knows how long.

But it had to be wrong, there was no way that kissing Minho could feel so right. It barely passed a month since he broke up with Yongha, not to say that Minho was supposed to be his enemy. So why did it feel so right when it was so wrong? 

Why did Jisung want to be held again by Minho? To be told that everything would be alright and that he should not worry? Why did he miss Minho’s lips and embrace?

“Where is Hyunjin?”

Jisung could not stand Minho’s gaze on him, the memories of what had happened hours ago still living on his mind and the pressure of his lips still remaining. He wanted to convince himself that it was just a dream, a hallucination, but that was hard to do when he had Minho in front of him.

“We don’t know it,” Felix answered, seeing how Jisung was taking his time to answer.

“What do you don’t know?” Minho’s gaze diverted from Jisung and looked directly at Felix, who sighed loudly before telling him everything.

“He went out two hours ago and no one has seen him since then. For all we know, he could be taking a flight to Canada right now,” Jeongin said, throwing himself onto a couch. “I swear I’m gonna die young.”

“Of course you will, because if you guys don’t find Hyunjin within the next hour I will kill you all,” Minho said, his voice dangerous, expressing how willing he was to commit what he had said.

Felix and Jeongin rushed out of the room, while Jisung just stood up there, avoiding Minho’s gaze.

“Jisung,” Minho muttered once they were alone.

“If you want to talk about what happened yesternight, I don’t,” Jisung said, this time looking directly at Minho. “I don’t know why you did that and I don’t know if it even meant something to you, but I am not willing to start a conversation about it now. I was sad, and I thought that I could trust you.”

“And you can trust me, Jisung”

“Can I? After all of these years, after all of the pranks, after everything you did to Yongha… Can I really trust you?” Jisung asked, this time looking at Minho. A glance full of sorrow. Of course he wanted to trust him, to think that maybe someday they could actually be together. But it was so hard.

“How can you still care about Yongha?” Minho asked, hurt.

“You made him choose between you and I, Minho. You were the one who turned him into what he is now, into the person that broke me.” Jisung’s voice sounded tired and he actually felt like that.

“What do you—?”

“I have to find Hyunjin, Minho.” And he walked out the door. Leaving Minho alone. Again.

Actually, Jisung was pretty sure where Hyunjin was. Bad habits die hard. Whenever they were kids and Hyunjin wanted to be alone, he would go to the highest point in the building, knowing that no one would bother him there because actually no one dared to climb up that high. So when Jisung arrived at the rooftop of the building, he was not surprised to see Hyunjin there, looking at the city under his foot.

“Are you crazy? Your wedding is in less than an hour, you idiot,” Jisung screamed, hoping that the wind would not mute his words.

“I know, I just wanted a moment before doing it,” Hyunjin said once Jisung got to his side. 

The city was beautiful, and more at that time of the year. It was around five in the afternoon, and since it was winter, the Christmas lights illuminated every corner at sight. The streets were also full of people trying to buy last minute presents and food.

“Everything is going to change, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asked, still looking at the city.

Jisung wanted to say that no, that nothing had to change for them. But the truth was deeper than that. Of course everything would change, Hyunjin will get married and probably start an actual adult life. A life that Jisung had not accessed yet.

“I guess it will,” Jisung answered, resting his arms on the railing, looking at the city too. “But change is something good, isn’t it?”

“I am scared. I don’t want to lose you, Ji,” Hyunjin confessed, turning his head to look at his best friend. “I don’t want to be one of those married guys that forget about his friends and only care about their husbands. I like going out on Fridays with you, to get drunk together, to have our movie marathons on Sundays and to be able to hang out with you anytime I want.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, Hyunjin.” Jisung put one of his hands on his back. “And getting married does not mean that all those things have to stop. When Seungmin accepted to date you, he also accepted your world, and I am part of it you know? Not many couples would be okay with their fianceés going out in the middle of the night for another man.”

Hyunjin chuckled, cold breath creating a little cloud.

“You don’t have to be afraid of losing me, Jinnie,” Jisung continued. “I am always going to be here for you. You are my brother and I nothing could ever break that. And believe me, if Seungmin has held on until now, he will stay too. He will not make you choose…”

Jisung’s thoughts drifted to Yongha and Minho. How different things could have been if Minho just accepted their relationship...

“You are thinking about Minho, right?” Hyunjin asked, after a few minutes of silence, only the sound of the wind being heard.

“How did you know?”

“Seungmin told me that he kissed you last night.” Hyunjin laughed. “Why don’t you give it a chance, Jisung? He likes you, and I know that you actually like him too.”

“It is unfair to Yongha, Hyunjin. I just can’t go to the arms of the one who messed him up so bad,” Jisung sighed. “Even if I liked him, I still have some respect for my ex.”

“He said horrible things, Jisung.”

“Just because seeing Minho upsetted him,” Jisung declared. “He is a nice boy, Hyunjin.”

“Look, I didn’t want to tell you because you seemed happy with him and I thought that you two were okay, plus you hated Minho so it was not important, but he is not the person you think he is,” Hyunjin said and Jisung frowned. “You know how he told you that Minho made him choose?”

“What about it?”

“I think he lied,” Hyunjin confessed. “I talked with Seungmin about it and Yongha had a weird obsession with Minho, and when Minho realized how unhealthy their relationship was he decided to cut it. A little after you both started dating.”

This time it was Jisung’s turn to chuckle. He had already imagined, back in high school, that something like that happened. That Yongha did not actually love him, just used him as a replacement. 

“So it was true…”

“You knew it?” Hyunjin asked, surprised at how little reaction Jisung showed.

“I wasn’t completely sure, but I wanted to believe that for one time, someone would choose me for me. Not for some weird scheme,” Jisung answered. For some reason he was not angry. As he looked to the big city under him, all his thoughts left his mind. “I am not even sad about it anymore, I just don’t feel anything. As if I were empty inside.”

“But you are not,” Hyunjin repliced. “Or are you going to tell me that you didn’t feel anything when Minho kissed you?”

Just hearing his name caused a whirlwind inside Jisung’s stomach, feelings flipping around and his heart beating fast. Maybe, Jisung could not hide that anymore, maybe he was just tired of pretending that there was nothing there, that he was indifferent to whatever Minho did. Yes, he liked Minho. He liked the Minho that had been there after Yongha broke up with him. He liked the Minho that stayed by his side last night. He liked the Minho that kissed him, creating a protection spell around him, a spell that made him feel safe and loved and everything Jisung ever aspired to feel. 

When Minho kissed him, Jisung thought that maybe Seungmin and Hyunjin were not the only ones perfect for each other. Minho saw the worst in Jisung, and still he adventured into the unknown and went for him. He saw all of his layers till he got to Jisung’s core, to where the worst things were. And he not only accepted it, he liked it.

He liked the Jisung that would be ready to throw punches if needed, he liked the Jisung that would bother him until making him scream, and the Jisung that wouldn’t shut the hell up. Minho liked every version of Jisung and all of his facets.

Jisung just had to take the chance. But...

“I am scared too,” Jisung answered. “What if this doesn’t work? What if, after all these years we just end up hurting each other again?”

Hyunjin seemed to think about it, but, as if it were a signal of the gods, the door of the rooftop opened loudly. Minho appeared there, looking at the two boys surprised. His hair was messy and his cheeks shone bright red from all the running. And Jisung swore to all the angels that there, with his gaze confused, Minho looked like the most beautiful human being.

“I don’t know, Ji,” Hyunjin murmured, watching how Minho walked towards them. “But don’t you think that it pays off?”

“I hope that the only reason why you’re here is because you are secretly a smoker and not because you are starting to have doubts about the wedding, Hyunjin,” Minho said as soon as he reached the boys. “Believe me that if you leave my best friend on the altar, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“Don’t worry Minho, I’m not letting Seungmin go so easily.” Hyunjin looked at Jisung and smiled. “When you love someone, you hold tight onto them.”

“You may kiss the husband”

Hyunjin smiled, a smile bigger than any other Jisung had ever seen before, and took Seungmin in his arms. When they finally kissed, all the auditorium exploded into cheers, screams and cries. Both men, dressed in white, were finally united through the bond of marriage.

Some of the people in there were openly crying, but others, like Jisung, wiped off the tears before anyone else could see them while the newly married danced in the middle of the room they reserved for the banquet. All the tables were on the sides of the room, just as Jisung and Minho arranged them. A good way to keep enemies apart and friends together, although that night no one seemed to be ready to start a war, Jisung thought as he saw Hyojin taking Ryujin’s hand, leading her to the dance floor.

“Are you just going to watch?” Minho asked, approaching him.

Jisung never took the proper time to evaluate how good Minho looked on an esmoquin. He stylized his hair backwards and a faint trace of makeup could be seen, the exact amount to enhance his already beautiful features. An already starting to be familiar sensation, spreaded all over Jisung; his foot freezing and his stomach feeling funny.

“Why? Did you want to ask me to dance?” Jisung said, half jokingly.

“Yes.” Minho took Jisung’s hand on his own and, under the surprised gaze of almost everyone in the room, he led him to the dance floor. A soft romantic song playing on the back. Jisung could have refused to dance with him, declined the offer and just ran away from Minho. From everything he was feeling and all that came with it. But he was tired of it.

Hyunjin was right, if you loved someone - although he was not sure if he _loved_ Minho - you held tightly onto them. Through hardships and good times, you stayed. With that conviction, Jisung walked, hand by hand, with Minho. All eyes were on the married couple again, so they would have a little intimacy.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it but—” Minho started, the first song was already ending and Jisung decided that it was a good idea to put his head on the older man’s shoulder.

“I like you,” Jisung said, his eyes closed. He was trembling inside, but tried his best to keep the composure. There where he was, Jisung could feel the way his heart beated, loud and clear, against his chest. “Don’t ask me why or how, because I don’t know either. Maybe it was tonight, or maybe it was since the very first moment I saw you, but it happened.”

Minho stopped moving, and so did Jisung, but the younger never left Minho’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what awaits us, Minho. I don’t even know if we’ll work out,” Jisung continued. “But I am tired of hiding, and playing the role of the victim. I want to try this out, to see if we can make it.” Jisung raised his head and looked directly at Minho.

His eyes were shining in a way that only stars were allowed and his mouth was half-opened, trying to say something, but every single word was trapped inside his throat.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” Jisung asked, suddenly feeling shy. All his feelings were exposed to the older and it was on his hand to take it or not.

Minho stayed in silence, but he started to smile. One of those beautiful smiles that automatically made your day better. 

“I like you too,” He said before pulling Jisung in.

This time, their kiss lasted longer. Letting the sensations permeate them in, warmth extending everywhere and happiness along with it. At the end, they had all the time in the world.

And as Minho’s lips kissed his, Jisung thought that maybe Minho was the one he hated the most, but he was also the only one he could ever love this way.


End file.
